The corporate alphabet

A - Really? We never start on time, so we will start with B, okay?

B - Replan in progress, We will start with C,if there are no surprises this point forward

C - Could you pass this much needed information, high dependency

D -

E - Does Enyone have info on this? We were blocked on D and now we have had to use

E in "anyone"

F - Finally!!

G - Good Job guys, we are almost 30% done

H - How are we doing today, are we on track to get this product out in the market on time?

I - In a party

J - Jhoom Barabar Jhoom

K - Kahlua

L - Leave

M - Maybe, not sure

N - No, I believe this is not the case here. There could be an alternate approach

O - Ohhh....really?

P - Poor results this quarter, is not an option

Q - Quarter

R - Reminder:

S - Second Reminder:

T - Third Reminder:

U - Unavailable for next 2 weeks

V - Very nice,good job

W - Where are we on the delivery? Its already W! We have 3 more consonants to go!

X - X-box (I couldnt think of anything better)

Y - YoY (year on year)

Z - Zzzzz, wha..??? What product? Zzzzz

Revenge

The court in Iran did pass an interesting judgment - an eye for an eye.

This raised eyebrows and caused a flutter among many. The crime was horrific too - acid was thrown on a girl's face by a spurned lover. So the girl demanded justice and demanded that it be delivered in the way she wanted. She wanted the man to feel the same pain as she did, for over 3 years.

She wanted to disfigure him by using the same acid as was used on her.

Some people cannot have their revenge. Some people are forgiving because they feel better when they do so. Some say, they feel liberated. A young boy murdered a classmate and went to jail in China. The mother of the murdered boy went mad in rage and for 3 whole years she thought of killing the boy and his entire family. It took her three years to accept the fact that her son is gone. She visited the boy in jail who broke down almost immediately. Today, she treats him as his own son and visits her in jail. "I feel liberated", she says.

Controlled Chaos - Leader shipped out

My best guess is that Management, Economics and Medicine are fields which use most of the mathematical theories. I think that due to some reason, out of the three, Management lags behind in applying these theories to the fullest. The one that I want to write about for a long time was the Chaos Theory.

Organizations like the idea of control and structure – accountability. Who, what, when, where and how. Maybe this is the reason why the idea of chaos creeps the hell out of organizations.

Am I correct when I say that orgs do not like chaos in functioning? Why is the Chaos Theory treated like a step-child in an otherwise Mathematical-Theory-friendly field of work?

You hear this everywhere. “Proactive”.

Be proactive and do your job? That’s not being proactive, that’s just doing your job!

Be proactive and do more than your job? Take up something that is beyond the usual? That’s not control and that’s definitely not what most Orgs want!

Consider a situation in ABC Company. Their employees are extremely proactive. Each one steps up and does something outside the scope of his or her job. Anyone can take up a leadership role such an action.

Miss A from the Finance Department could start off “Productivity Circle” and lead the initiative herself.

Mr. B from Operations wants to start an initiative which looks at bettering the “Quality and Inspection” process.

These systems are interlinked even though ABC Ltd. wants to have them as separate controlled business units. So as the process gets defined, it becomes tough for Mr. B and Miss A to start up their initiatives, even though ABC Ltd. wants such initiatives.

If, it becomes remotely possible for both these people to start these initiatives, we might have a state of Chaos. Then we might have to look at the initial condition and how much a variation in the initial condition of this linear/ non linear[1] deterministic system will impact the end result.

If a perfectly balanced and controlled organization like ABC Ltd is Chaotic, then the initial conditions will be varying and therefore creating imbalance (I’ll call this the Innovation Paradox)

1) ABC is stable and balanced and hence it can ‘afford’ to take risk and spend resources on innovation and initiatives

2) If ABC is now chaotic (refer Mr. A and Miss B’s actions), how can it be balanced?

Look at companies that have excelled in innovation. Are these balanced? I think organizations that give its employees the freedom to work in an environment of chaos might have an edge over organizations that work on a Punch-In Punch-Out (PIPO) principle. Degrees of freedom might vary but as long as it is not an absolute Zero, an employee will feel empowered.

Processes in the PIPO type of firms are near perfected over a period of time, so much so that each employee is dispensable. Since the processes are so well defined, probability of losing control is very little, hence the chance of having chaos is less and therefore you can never ship the leader out.

Chaos

Before I can move on to a little more detailed rambling of Chaos in Management, I’ll try to give you a crash course in the Chaos theory (from what I think, I know)

Consider a system whose end is defined by its initial condition which, if varied, might lead to large deviation in the end result (more that you would expect)

This system, if dislodged slightly from its stable state might swing between order and chaos for T → ∞ until some form of control is applied to re-stabilize it to its original or a new state with the same or different degree of stability.

Strange Attractors – Somehow, someday every balanced system will fall prey to these attractors, which are, well, strange.

I am not sure if someone has said this before but I strongly believe (without any form of empirical study) that each and every balanced complex system will be pulled into a state of chaos sometime or the other. Why and how remains a question, maybe some mathematics folks have figured that out as well, but trust me I do not have the intelligence to read and understand those formulae, if they exist.

I think what can cause this is competition, human behavior, yearning to grow or any other reason which has no reason at all.

So two things are for sure (as far as I think)

1) Chaos will reign in an organization at one point or the other

2) An organization will retain that state of chaos till it applies control

The question here is….. how to implement controlled chaos??

---

[1] Even though it is believed that organizations are the best examples of non-linearity (biggest changes might fail, smallest of changes might turn the company around), I still have also used the word linear to describe it, for fear of skeptics :)

Father and I

“It is such a waste son! I don't get this attitude of your generation. You can't spend such a huge amount of money on a phone! It’s just a phone afterall! This is almost my one month’s pension!” My father was clearly not too happy. Mother, on the other hand was beaming, and took a short sarcastic snap at poor daddy, “People do like to pamper themselves once in a while Mr. Jasuja, unlike you, with your pre-historic phone”, ofcourse Mom was just happy because Dad didn’t approve of the 2 day long shopping spree she went on when….uhhh..long story.

“I agree it’s pre-historic, but it delivers value. It is meant to be a communication device. Infact, I don’t even like the concept of SMS. It’s a waste of time. In these times, when calls are so cheap, why do people want to SMS each other, causing more wear and tear to the buttons on the phone?”, 1970’s B-Schooler, can’t argue with him now can I?

“But Papa, the way we communicate has changed. It’s not just emails and phone calls but also V-Confs and the likes. We work in diverse environments and large teams with people scattered all across the globe. We have to connect while we’re on the move.”

“Doesn’t you laptop and that Neutron, Bluetron…whatever that thing is called, do the same thing? Mobile connectivity? Forever and Ever? Then why do you need this phone?”

“It’s a smartphone”, I murmured.

“That’s because only the name can convince users that they are being smart”, Dad was in full mood today to rip me and my lovely phone apart!

“Dad, can I ask you a question?”

“Don’t expect an honest answer!”, I so knew that smile!!

“Why don’t you sell off the Activa, we have the car right”, Mum had been asking Papa to sell off the Activa because she thought it was not too safe for him to be riding around at this age!

“I can’t take the car everywhere son. Besides it is more expensive to maintain and guzzles more fuel. The Activa is quick and convenient.”

“The Laptop and the Smartphone story Papa, I rest my case”.

Dad smiled and got up to pour another cup of tea for himself, “It still is one month pension”

Perfection

A tourist once visited a temple under construction where he saw a sculptor making an idol of God. Suddenly he noticed a similar idol lying nearby.
Surprised, he asked the sculptor, "Do you need two statues of the same idol?"
"No," said the sculptor without looking up,
"We need only one, but the first one got damaged at the last stage."
The gentleman examined the idol and found no apparent damage. "Where is the damage?" he asked.
"There is a scratch on the nose of the idol." said the sculptor, still busy with his work.
"Where are you going to install the idol?", asked the tourist.
The sculptor replied that it would be installed on a pillar thirty feet high.
"If the idol is that far, who is going to know that there is a scratch on the nose?" the gentleman asked.
The sculptor stopped his work, looked up at the gentleman, smiled and said, "I will know it."

Manifestos....funny!!

Dear Datta,
See what I just came across while pouring coffee for myself at thecafeteria
40 people; in a videoconference, on the implications of the changes in the Foreign Credit Tax Policy of the United States.
Ask how many of them know why are the following four lines present in the Congress Manifesto "The Indian National Congress has always been the bulwark against the four "isms" that threaten to tear our country apart -- communalism of all kinds, linguistic chauvinism, regional parochialism and casteism.
"WHAT WAS THE CENTRE DOING WHEN a certain MR. RAJ WAS TALKING ABOUT 'HIS'MAHARASHTRA AND THROWING OUT NORTH INDIANS FROM 'HIS' LAND, THE VERYSAME PEOPLE WHO WERE INSTRUMENTAL IN CREATING THE MUMBAI AS WE KNOW IT??
Go through the manifesto, it’s hilarious!
One of the points is "We will connect all villages to a broadband network in three years time" This would be in the year 2012.As per the census, 82% of the villages in India are electrified. The Government promised Power For All by 2012.
Now tell me, how do they plan to send power as well as internet facility by 2012, are we having some Power over Ethernet technology here? Hilarious, I told you!!Read it, it's really funny.
www.congress.org.in/manifesto.doc
And this is what they had to say about the Leftists,
Third Front - a recipe for chaos
“There is also the so-called Third Front, a grouping of opportunistic parties. These parties have neither consistency nor clarity. They have neither competence nor commitment. This Front, grounded in the politics of convenience, is nothing but a platform for personal ambitions. It speaks of "alternative polices" without spelling out what these alternatives are. Parties of the Third Front do one thing when they are in power and quite another when they are rejected by the people.
The Left Parties, who are prime movers behind the so-called Third Front, supported the Congress-led UPA government for over four years. They attempted to exercise authority without taking on any responsibility. At every step, they violated the discipline, restraint and sobriety so very essential for running a coalition smoothly. At every step, the Prime Minister, Dr. Manmohan Singh, briefed them on all important issues. The Left Parties withdrew their support on the issue of the civilian nuclear agreement even though it had been negotiated and concluded on our own terms. They adamantly refused to listen to reasoned arguments that convincingly demonstrated that the agreement was in India's supreme national interest.
The Left Parties and their present partners pride themselves on being secular. On the contrary, it may be recalled that they had actively aligned with the BJP in the past. They are, in fact, responsible for the electoral growth of the BJP.”

Ha!! I am so sure that the BJP's manifesto will be as entertaining!

~Jay

The co-travellers...

Dearest Datta,
There has always been a hint of the writer in you - Ofcourse leaving out the last point, the others were merely catalyzed through some form of extreme inebriation of the rational mind (I am hoping it's just the liquor)
I found the research on Menelaus compelling. I also tried to draw some analogy, not metaphorically, just logically out of Menelaus and Ju**id.I don't know, but somehow still, to him the heterosexual tag does not really fit the bill. I can reasonably argue today, on that very front, how and why J**n frequented his place, unsuspecting. Anyway, my guess is that you out of all people are savouring only the mascara and not the cologne.
Now, from where we set out, was a question - Directly implying whether the brain (aka material world) must abdicate and let the souls/morals/principles have a chance?
This is what happened:
A friend told me that he was too lazy to go and vote.
Baneful to the country, isn't it? Considering the already brittle fabric of democracy here, can we afford such blitheness? To us, its trifling, because we happen to be in the (I am not very sure of the Statistics) 24-25% of the population in terms of affluence/eruditeness, whatever you may want to call it, but to the rest of the75% of India, it makes a lot of difference.
Preponderant - yes in terms of the numbers and just that, but really, tell me how much is the Government really doing to really make these people "count"?
The 80/20 principle is ubiquitous, even in the context of elections in India.
A ramified society, financially, socially, intellectually. If the English used us against us, what do you think these elaborate poll mandates are all about? After all, 80 year old politicians have learnt from the English and are still carrying on the legacy, ignominiously.
And then, when on a train, I tell my co-passengers ( A commander in the Indian navy, A sub-inspector serving the last four years of his service with the UP Police and a young Civil Engineer) that maybe Mr. Karat is not wrong afterall, maybe there is a need for us to be moderately communist, they just flip out!!Can you tell me, why would three well-read, mature people just discount the mere idea of mild socialism?
1) Equality
2) Freedom
3) Against Exploitation
4) Religion
5) Cultural
6) Educational
7) Constitutional remedies
I am sure we all remember these; these are the Rights we have.
How about the duties? One of the duties is "To promote harmony and the spirit of common brotherhood amongst all the people of India transcending religious, linguistic and regional or sectional diversities; to renounce practices derogatory to the dignity of women."Promote brotherhood? Hah! What a bloody joke? We are used to servants, helpers, waiters, rickshaw pullers and the likes, and this is India, where these people do not get even an iota of respect that they deserve only for the sheer hard work they put in.
We cannot let go of our premonitions about losing out to these people who are gradually rising. The same goes for the entire Global population which might not like India rising the way it is.
And what are we doing about it?? Contributing in ANY way?? NO
Now tell me, do you see where I am heading with this? Convoluted is it?
Actually, it is all inter-related. If I were to calculate the correlation factor between our own indifference and the putrid condition of the country, it sure would cross 0.95.
We aren’t able to let go of what we have. We sure are ambitious but at the same time we just cannot relinquish the power.
We as politicians, as the aam aadmi, as everyone we know, just cannot let go.
So, let me ask again, is there anything, at all, that you would kill for?Or die?